Appreciation

The ups and downs are never ending...

The main reason i'm writing is because I realized it has been an entire month since my last post! And I need to be recording better my experience because I planned on journaling but that's not happening either, so this is the alternate.

It hit me a couple of weeks ago that I was halfway through my time here in Buenos Aires, and I was TERRIFIED. I feel like I have so much left to do and see and it feels like my time here has been very long and veryy short at the same time. Right now I have just about 8 weeks to go, which means 3 months that I've been here.

I think this week has turned over a new leaf for me; maybe it was the fact that my parents came to visit, and I needed that refresher. I think having them here definitely made me appreciate way more the city; to show it to an outsider from my perspective, made me realize how lucky I am to be in this place at this time in my life. It also made me appreciate my independence (ha sorry guys) and that I am not tied to any one person or group of people in my time here, or even in my life itself. I can wake up and basically do whatever I want, without worrying about anyone else.

I also came to a conclusion that will be expanded more in a post I plan to do about advice about studying abroad in general and in Buenos Aires, and that is that it is quite dangerous to stay inside and do nothing all day, especially if you are homesick. I find that I feel much better in general when I go out and do something as minimal as walk around or run errands. It's easy to use the internet to get sucked into a different world, the one back home, and to forget to appreciate what you have around you physically. I've had a lot of studying to do lately, so I have been trapped inside, but even so, I try to make it out at least once a day to see one new thing, and my mood improves dramatically.

This sense of almost panic that I have been experiencing like my time is coming to an end (even though I have quite a long time left) has made me think a lot about my companionship here in the city. I have a lot of opposing forces going on in my head when thinking about something as simple as friendship. Before I came, I told myself that I was going to step outside of my comfort zone and meet as many Argentine friends as possible. This has been extremely difficult, even for someone like me, who I consider to be pretty outgoing most of the time. When people have their existing friend groups, it can be hard to break in. And since I am only in classes with a few international students at a time and we don't all do things together, we are not really a group either. I am pretty close to a few American girls, and I love ya'll and appreciate ya'll so much, so don't let this make you think any differently :) I know we will be friends after this semester and we now have places all over the US to stay and visit!

This has definitely made me more empathetic towards the international students at Hendrix and I can't wait to take what I have appreciated from students here and use it on them back in Conway next year!

I have met a few people here and there, but we have mostly just talked about school stuff, which still gives me a rush and makes me feel happy when I talk to someone new in my class! So many people though, once the conversation starts, have been really interested in me as a person which makes me feel really welcomed, and have willingly given me their numbers or Facebook with the request to ask them any questions at all.

I'm excited to see how I can continue these relationships and maybe I'll even ask one or two of them to get coffee with me or something even though that scares me! I'm interested to see how Hendrix students who are studying abroad in other places feel about this topic, but from what I've observed, most people usually stick to the international student groups and have trouble breaking in to meet native students, but I'm excited to talk to people about it nonetheless.

Each time I go outside now, I have a newfound appreciation for the city because of the (sort of) short time I have left, but I'm happy this attitude came now and not a week before I leave, even though I know that it will be much stronger then!

I still can't believe how much I am learning and changing and growing each and every day here, and how I am so incredibly lucky to be able to have this experience!!! I still can't believe I'm here; it still feels pretty unreal to me.

Besos!
-Anna